Discover How You Get in Your Own Way
Many of us carry familiar patterns of mind that developed to help us cope with challenge and pressure. When we are unaware of them, these patterns can shape how we relate to ourselves and others, often in ways we did not intend.
The Saboteur Assessment is a simple way to notice these patterns with curiosity rather than judgement.
How We Self-Sabotage
Saboteurs are the voices in your head that generate negative emotions as you handle life’s everyday challenges. They represent the automatic patterns in your mind for how to think, feel, and respond. These patterns contribute to stress, anxiety, self-doubt, frustration, and restlessness, especially under pressure.
Meet the Judge, Your Master Saboteur
The Judge is the universal Saboteur that afflicts everyone. It is the one that beats you up repeatedly over mistakes or shortcomings, warns you obsessively about future risks, wakes you up in the middle of the night worrying, gets you fixated on what is wrong with others or your life, etc. Your Judge activates your other Saboteurs, causes much of your stress and unhappiness, reduces your effectiveness, and harms your relationships.
The Accomplice Saboteurs
The Judge works with one or more Accomplice Saboteurs to hijack your mind and cause most of your setbacks. Do any of these seem familiar to you?
Focusing on the positive and pleasant in an extreme way. Avoiding difficult and unpleasant tasks and conflicts.
Intense and exclusive focus on the rational processing of everything, including relationships. Can be perceived as uncaring, unfeeling, or intellectually arrogant.
Restless, constantly in search of greater excitement in the next activity or constant busyness. Rarely at peace or content with the current activity.
Anxiety-based need to take charge and control situations and people’s actions to one’s own will. High anxiety and impatience when that is not possible.
Continuous intense anxiety about all the dangers and what could go wrong. Vigilance that can never rest.
Perfectionism and a need for order and organization taken too far. Anxious trying to make too many things perfect.
Dependent on constant performance and achievement for self-respect and self-validation. Latest achievement quickly discounted, needing more.
Indirectly tries to gain acceptance and affection by helping, pleasing, rescuing, or flattering others. Loses sight of own needs and becomes resentful as a result.
Emotional and temperamental as a way to gain attention and affection. An extreme focus on internal feelings, particularly painful ones. Martyr streak.